Shattering Masks
by ducky76
Summary: Oneshot. A little bit of both MA and ML. At the end of Freak Nation, Alec and Max both let their guards down for a hearttoheart.


**I figured I'd try writing a _Dark Angel_ fic. In my opinion, the show ended way too soon and there should have been a little bit of MA going on. So here is my first story, picking up at the very end of "Freak Nation." This is a one-shot, but I might write a multi-chapter sequel to it. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

Alec took his eyes away from the flag just long enough to look at the interlocking fingers of Max and Logan. He was a little shocked to discover that the image was able to extinguish the excited feeling the raising of the flag had stirred in him, but he quickly swallowed the lump forming in his throat and looked back at the flag. _Good for them_, he told himself. _It's not like I ever really had a chance with her. Hell, she just thinks I'm an annoying brother or something. No, I never had a chance. He's the one who makes her happy._

Max caught the glance, as well as the sad, far-off look in Alec's eyes, and forced herself to look away from him. Her gaze instead caught on the very set of linked hands that Alec had noticed, and she loosened her grip a bit. What the hell was she doing? She and Logan… they were over. She'd made that clear before. And even though holding his hand felt right out of habit, she'd made a commitment to her decision. She'd even let Logan believe that she'd started seeing Alec… Yea right, like she'd ever date the smartass good-for-nothing!

She looked back at the other X5 who was staring into space while holding a hand to his gunshot wound which he'd received while trying to help a couple of transgenic who were a little more obvious than himself. So maybe he wasn't good for _nothing_.

But he definitely was a smartass the way he always got into trouble and mouthed off. There was no way in hell she would ever date him… But why had Logan found it so believable?

And why, for that matter, had she almost wanted to believe it herself?

Saying that she had feelings for Alec, lying to Logan that way, it hadn't been difficult. She'd actually contemplated the feel of Alec's lips against her own, probably soft and gentle, as Logan had confessed his suspicions of her involvement with Alec. And something about Alec both infuriated and captivated her. He was growing as a person and constantly surprised her with the soulful look in his eyes. There was something to learn about him still. Were those feelings she'd pretended to have such a lie after all?

Alec felt her eyes on him and his own hazel orbs locked with hers for an instant. She didn't break the stare until she felt Logan's hand squeeze hers protectively. She saw Logan watch Alec until the young X5 walked inside, at which point the looked at Max and smiled.

Max's breath caught in her chest as she wanted to smile back. She truly did want to, but she couldn't do it.

She was sanding in front of her people, the people she led, as their flag was raised. It was an important day. A proud day. A day full of hope for happiness in the future, And she was holding hands with the person she'd always pictured herself beside on such a day. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to smile back at him.

Shaking her head ever so slightly, Max used her free hand to grab Logan's wrist. "Logan, I've got to go do something," she said as she pulled her hand from his grasp. "Stay here."

Logan's smile fell as he looked into her sad eyes, but he said nothing, not even when she walked away in the same direction as Alec. He was just left there, standing alone.

Max saw Alec's form retreat through the door that led down into the building and decided to follow. Hopefully no one on the roof other than Logan would notice the two of them missing.

When she got to the door, she heard heavy footsteps leading down the stairs, a sure sign that Alec was feeling less than happy. Whenever he had something on his mind his footsteps became heavier, as if the weight of the world was being carried on his shoulders and all practiced stealth was forgotten. When Max had begun to notice such details of Alec's mood was a mystery to her, but it was one among many things that she had stored away in the part of her memory that was labeled "A Guide to Smart-Alec."

Max waited until she heard a door open and shut on the third floor, judging by the amount of steps Alec had descended. Knowing that he was heading to the sleeping quarters, where they'd both begun to sleep after being discovered as transgenic, she made her way down the three flights of stairs, through the door, and down the hallway, peering into each room as she walked by them. She heard water running and realized that he must have found his way to the bathroom, one of the few in all of Terminal City that had been salvaged enough for good hygiene.

She pushed the door open and found him splashing his face with water from one of the sinks. She leaned against the doorframe, waiting for him to take notice of her.

Alec took a deep breathe and leaned on the edges of the sink, looking at his reflection dully as if he weren't really seeing anything in the mirror at all. When he took his weight off and stood, he was startled by Max's form, which he caught out of the corner of his eye. "Where'd you come from?" he asked.

"You're definitely off your game today. First you get your ass handed to you by some chick from White's cult and then you don't notice me until I've been standing here for three minutes already." She stared at him blankly, expecting him to mouth off about the comment about getting his ass kicked.

Alec blinked. "Oh." He straightened up, but made no other move.

"Isn't this the part where you say something stupid like, 'Maxie you're stalking me because I'm irresistible'?" Max joked. "Then I punch you and you call me a bitch-"

"Not really in the mood," Alec said, trying to sound somewhat defiant. "Shouldn't you be up there with Logan right and not bothering me?"

No jokes from him today. It bothered Max, because she knew that was how Alec protected himself from everything. No humor meant that Alec's façade was falling.

"You left pretty quickly up there," Max prodded, ignoring the lack of the usual Alec quips.

"It's not a big deal," Alec said softly, looking at the floor. He was trying to hide his eyes from her so that she wouldn't see that his mask was chipping away.

"I would have thought you'd be excited about all of this," Max told him. "We've taken big steps today."

"I'm happy," Alec said half-heartedly, but his eyes still didn't meet hers. He self-consciously rubbed his wound as he looked everywhere but her eyes. She could practically see the crack grow right up the middle of that cocky mask he wore.

Max pushed herself off the wall and walked to him, setting her hand on his wounded arm. "You alright?" she asked.

Alec gave a huge half-assed, sorry excuse for a smirk. "I'm always…" The smirk fell as her eyes finally caught his. "… alright…" he shatter of the mask as it his the ground was probably louder than any real sound Max had ever heard.

Max saw the tired eyes… to tired to belong to a carefree idiot. _Alec's not a carefree _idiot, she reminded herself. When had those tired eyes become Alec's? He just looked so spent.

And he was. He was exhausted. Exhausted from being a soldier. Exhausted from having to fight for freedom in a word he'd never been asked to be made into. Exhausted with his tough act. Hell… He was even exhausted of being exhausted.

But the most exhausting thing of all was the unrequited love he'd only just come to realize that he was carrying around. Love so strong that it was tearing his heart apart as he willingly withstood the pain of seeing Max with Logan in hope that Max could be happy.

"Alec…" Max slid her hand down until it held his.

"Why'd you follow me down her?" Alec whispered.

Max took a deep breath and let it out. "Honestly?" she asked. "I have no clue what I came to say. I just…"

Alec licked his lips, her mouth dry with nervousness. He'd heard his mask shatter too. It was like Max was seeing him naked… only, in a way that made him feel very vulnerable in a way he didn't want to. "You should be with Logan," he said. "You two are just starting to work through-"

"You're probably right," Max said. "But you looked like you could use my company more."

Alec was silent, his tired eyes avoiding her gaze.

"Besides," Max continued. "As much as I try, the tension keeps building between Logan and me. It's like we're trying to bridge the gap… and I keep on burning down the bridge…" She sat down with her back against the wall, giving Alec a small smile as she gestured for him to sit beside her.

Alec did as he was told, crossing his arms on top of his knees and resting his head on them. "It's a tough life, huh?" he asked as he stared straight ahead. "They didn't train us for relationships."

Max also stared at the wall, one eyebrow raised as she nodded in agreement. "But people out in the real world… they don't get trained for them either. Love and learn same as we do." She leaned her head on the wall, turning it to look at him. "I think maybe I just suck at it. Maybe I don't even deserve to be good at it."  
"Why not?" Alec asked as he rested the side of his head on his arms and looked at her.

"Well, I'm a danger to the man you loves me," Max said. "The man who is willing to risk that danger to be close to me."

"That's not your fault," Alec said. "Actually, it's kind of my fault."

Max smiled sadly. "It's my fault I keep burning down the bridge."

"Then get rid of the matched," Alec joked, though his eyes were earnest. He just wanted her to be happy.

Max laughed. "I'm kind of hoping I'll run out of them soon. But right now I've got to focus on everything else. My heart is just more in this war than my relationship. I'm to devoted to my people."

"So where does that leave you and Logan?" Alec asked, picking his head up as he waited for an answer. _Where does that leave you and me?_

"I don't know…" Max sighed. "He's in love with me… And he's don't so much for me. I owe it to him to keep trying. I owe it to him to wait for a cure so that I can throw out those matches."

Alec's eyes showed a flicker of emotion… pain. He nodded and turned his attention back to the wall, resting his head on his arms again. "Is it going to make you happy to find a cure?" he asked.

"I hope so," Max said sadly. She scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "But even if it doesn't, it's the right thin to do. I have to give it a shot."

"Max…"

She said nothing, just breathed in the scent of him, finding it oddly comforting.

"I love you," Alec said tentatively, his body tensing a bit, but he didn't move. He didn't even breathe for a moment.

Max's eyes watered, but he couldn't see that. "I know," she whispered. "But Logan…"

"I know," Alec replied understandingly.

"I'm sorry," Max said. She bit her lip and buried her face in the nape of his neck just as tears fell. _I don't want to hurt you_.

"I knew that too," Alec said. _I never had a chance_. He sighed, shifting his position so that his arm was around her. "Love bites…"


End file.
